Learning Thai

In an attempt to better understand what my children are experiencing here in Thailand, I'm currently reading the book Third Culture Kids by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken. A third culture kid is a "child who's spending a significant part of his/her developmental years outside the parent's culture." Claire, Eliza, and Silas seem to qualify. Some parts of the book make me happy, some parts make me worry...an expanded worldview vs. confused loyalties, cross-cultural enrichment vs. ignorance of home culture, rootedness vs. restlessness. Difficulties include not having a feeling of belonging in either culture, uneven maturity, developmental issues, etc. I also worry about all the people they have to bond too and then part from as workers come and go on the field. It's also harder for Claire and Eliza to make friends here. I've seen them reach out and speak Thai and try really hard to be friendly, but the cultural barriers (many Thai kids seem intimidated by them or appear to be laughing at them) make it hard to have close friends. This is a major prayer request as Claire returns to Thai school this week- that she can feel as "normal" as possible in an all-Thai school and that she will make a close Thai friend.

It's interesting to think about how the kid's experience as TCKs here is different from mine as a person who spent my developmental years in my parent's home country. Before we moved here, someone told me that adults "adapt" to culture but kids simply "adopt" culture. And I've found that to be very true. Rather than needing to adjust to Thai culture and rather than comparing it to their home country, they simply accept the ways thing are done here. So their adjustment in that regard has been really easy. My worries are more how they are affected developmentally.

Sometimes I really regret the fact that they don't get to go to choral camp or have sleepovers or cousin campouts. It's something that never stops being painful to me. I wonder how it is hurting them not to have a totally "normal" childhood in their home culture. On the other hand, it's also thrilling to be raising world citizens- who love Thailand and who are learning about the kingdom of God outside of traditional church. They are blessed kids in many ways. I love seeing their relationship with God growing. I love that they are learning to be very respectful children because of this culture of respect. I love that they are learning about their world and embrace differences in people.

For any adult TCK's out there or parents who have raised your kids outside your home culture, we really seek your help and advise! We're learning as we go here! I'm sure we are making plenty of mistakes. I guess my working theory is that if things are stable and reliable at home, they will be able to tolerate a lot of ambiguity and challenge in the bigger world. And I'm thankful that their personal relationships with Jesus help them to be strong and to make good choices. Please pray for our family as we continue to try to figure out this cross cultural life!

-Candice

The kids stand for the national anthem on tv which plays all over Thailand every morning and evening.

My kids' favorite kind of chip: seaweed.

Silas's rides his banana tree horse.

They are used to many forms of transportation, including night train.

Unique books for babies. Silas learns the words for ginger and galangal.

Worship at home.

Artwork. This scene shows a Thai school.

Learning to celebrate many fun, new national holidays, like the big Song Kran waterfight.

We also appreciate your prayers this weekend as Tom is gone at the retreat. Pray that the spirit will be working and that some will have a new realization of who Jesus is. Please pray too for victims of the worsening flooding all over Thailand.....
-Candice